For a Good Time, Call Loki (The Loki Adventures) Read online

  For a Good Time, Call Loki

  A Loki Adventure

  Dawn Blair

  Morning Sky Studios

  Copyright © 2013 Dawn Blair

  All rights reserved.

  This book is protected under copyright laws of the United States of America. No portion of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without express written permission from the copyright holders.

  The story and characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to actual events, persons (living or dead), or locales is purely coincidental.

  Cover art by Dawn Blair

  Morning Sky Studios

  P.O. Box 5422

  Twin Falls, ID 83301

  Visit us online at www.morningskystudios.com

  To my dad,

  my unexpected fan

  Chapter 1

  Damn. Doesn’t the higher power in the universe realize that gods of Asgard are supposed to be smarter than the humans of Midgard? Or is it just my erroneous belief?

  I feel as if I have forgotten myself. Separated from something important I should be remembering, as if this is a warning. What psychological manipulation played upon me has made me feel one cheeseburger short of a Happy Meal?

  I, Loki of Asgard, enjoy messing with people’s minds. It’s what I do. I’d apologize for it, but we both know I wouldn’t be sincere. I’d also say that I hate it when someone tries to make a mockery of me, but we know that would also be a lie. I do enjoy the game.

  Right now, my objective is to make it from my hotel room to the airport to save someone who looks quite a bit like me. Or, I should say, that I look quite a bit like him. Just enough to not quite be right.

  I open the stairwell’s pale gray door which exits to the ground floor of the hotel and discover Jason leaning against the beige wall with a smirk on his lips and the keys to my new car dangling from his tidy fingers. Upon seeing my personal assistant waiting for me, I realize I have made a terrible blunder.

  I’ve grown so accustomed to this human form that I didn’t even think to change my appearance as I came down the stairs. I could’ve easily been a gorgeous twenty year old with long legs, a short red dress, and waist length wavy blond hair. You know, the kind of woman that turns a man’s head and melts his thoughts to primal urges. After all, I’ve been known to do that before.

  Instead, no, I forget that Jason is bringing me my car and now he knows I’m heading out. He’ll want to go with me. If he goes with me, he’ll want to know where I’m going. If I tell him where I’m going, he’ll want to know why. If you give a mouse a cookie, he’ll want some milk… blah, blah, blah… and we all know how that ended.

  So why hadn’t I had the thought just a moment earlier that Jason might be down here waiting for me? A little warning, a hint of a clue, would have been nice. Why couldn’t I have been one hair smarter?

  “Loki,” he says with a brilliant smile, jangling the keys ever so slightly.

  I walk up to him and snatch the keys from him. “Jason, you’re fired,” I growl.

  “I’ll be sure to have my unemployment paperwork on your desk by morning. Or do you still have the last ones? Is this the eighth or ninth set of dismissal papers? I can’t quite remember.”

  He’s trailing along behind me now, but walking swiftly with his shoulders back, not slouched forward and hurrying like some abused minion. I hear the rustle of his black suit jacket as he reaches up to loosen the double Winsor knot of his tie just a little. Most men prefer the single knot because it’s easier to do, but I always feel it’s sloppy and lopsided. To me, the double knot is a sign of Jason’s balance and integrity. A small detail this tying of a tie, but for so much in life, how one handles the little things shows how they will handle the bigger things. For today’s tie, he’s chosen one that fades from white to blue and reminds me of water.

  I hired Jason because of his style and I’ve never regretted the decision. Unfortunately he understands this. I hate the fact he knows me so well too. He’s travelled with me on several occasions and knows that I prefer to take the stairs versus the elevator, a little fact which, at the moment, has served him well.

  “So what’s with your house?” Jason asks. “Mr. Bradford said he was up late last night getting your paperwork in order and that your new request won’t be easy to fulfill but he hopes to have suitable options for you by the end of the week.”

  “Mr. Bradford contacted you?” I ask.

  “Your phone didn’t go through to voice mail,” Jason replies as though this is the strangest thing in the world. It probably is. Of course, it had to have happened while I was chasing the wraith. My phone didn’t even realize that it was in another dimension and to transfer all calls. A bug in the system, something I’d have to have someone check into later, after I figure out how to explain to a human the concept of why my phone is in another dimension.

  Anyone still think my life is cushy and easy?

  I take an excited look around the parking lot for my new car. I can’t wait to see what Jason has brought me. There’s a bunch of SUV’s and a few sedans, but nothing along the lines of what Jim Masters knows I like to drive. I feel anticipation leaving me like air through a hole in a deflating balloon.

  “It’s in a spot on the street. I didn’t want to risk it getting dinged up here,” Jason says, taking the lead. I follow and come around the side of the building to see a beautiful machine waiting for me. Oh, this is brilliant.

  I walk around the car admiring the sharp lines of its design. It’s exquisite, except for the fact that the Lamborghini Aventador roadster could only be considered Iron Man red. Really? I take a deep breath. Yes, somewhere, someone is making me into one heck of a joke. I hope they’re getting a good belly laugh now.

  Jason slips between me and the Aventador. “I went by the house, Loki,” he divulges. “It’s a bridge. How the hell does a house become a bridge?”

  “How indeed?” I respond. I really wish I’d been more creative this morning. I really don’t have time for this. I must remember that I’m on a mission.

  “I want to go with you,” Jason persists.

  “You’re fired, remember?” I insist.

  “No I’m not. We both know it. Now, come on, Loki, take me with you.”

  I wonder for a moment how I am going to get a human into the airport and quickly realize that while I’ll be able to move through with a minor shimmer, Jason will be stuck in security. I have my answer. “Fine. Come along. I don’t have time to argue about it.”

  Jason slaps his hands together as he jumps into the passenger seat of the red Aventador.

  The driver seat feels funny, different. Of course I have to adjust it from Jason’s position. He’s a little shorter than I am. I already miss my Phantom which I hadn’t had nearly long enough. The Lamborghini’s engine growls to life at the turn of the key. Okay, maybe this won’t be as bad as I first imagined.

  There’s something enchanting about new car smell, don’t you think? It’s like a warrior ready to go into battle, his blood heated and ready to take on the world. I look down at the odometer. There’s only two hundred and fifty miles on this car, practically a baby barely broken in. Let’s add some more.

  The Aventador wants to fly. It responds to every stroke, every touch. A little push on the petal and it surges forward with the grace of an unrestrained angel. I expect Jason to grip the seat as I zig and zag between other cars always jockeying for a better position. There’s just one change that really needs to be made.

  I reached my arm through the open window and touch the side panel of the car door. The Iron Man red gets replaced with ice blue. Much better.
I can’t help myself as I look at Jason to see his reaction.

  Instead, he glances at me all poker faced as if to say, “Yeah, I was expecting that. I saw Sorcerer’s Apprentice. Didn’t you?” At my disappointment, he smiles then turns back to look out the window. I’m certain his cold unresponsiveness somehow indicates a relation to Thor.

  “Don’t pout, Loki,” he says. “It doesn’t suit you.”

  “I was not…” Okay, yes I was. I twitch my fingers to change the traffic lights ahead and watch the light turn green.

  Then it goes back to red.

  “What?” I change the light again, with the same result: green, then red. There’s not even a yellow signal.

  I have to actually use the brakes and come to a stop. Me! Me, Loki on a mission! I never have to stop when I’m on the case.

  “Light gnomes,” Jason says with several nods of his head. “Sometimes you just can’t avoid them.”

  At first I think Jason is just being a superstitious human, then he raises and eyebrow and adds, “I just don’t understand why Loki of Asgard has never had to deal with them before.”

  I’m certain I’m now giving him the look I had expected to see on his face when I changed the Aventador’s paint color from red to blue. How could he possibly know the truth about me? Yes, if you haven’t guessed by now, he’s a great personal assistant who pays attention to detail, but still… Most humans could never accept the fact that I was a god walking among them. Their brains just can’t make that kind of leap. It’s why many pantheons have had gods who walked on earth, but no one could believe it is still going on today in modern society. Mythology proves that humans couldn’t accept the truth then, and now is no different. Even this, my very personal account of my adventures, you believe to just be fiction. How many times has the author ranted on Facebook about me controlling her, just coming in and forcing her to write this down or staying up too late to continue my story? I’ve lost count, and I’m a god!

  So how did Jason know? He is an ordinary human.

  I’m glad the light is red so I can just sit there and stare at Jason.

  At last, he gives another of his fabulous smiles and shrugs as he reaches his hand out toward me. “I suppose it’s about time I properly introduce myself. I’m Jason of the Argonauts.”

  Chapter 2

  I continue to stare with my mouth open. Is this really happening? Jason of the Argonauts? The mortal man who went searching for the Golden Fleece in order to claim his rightful place as king of Iolcos? He would be thousands of years old now. Could it be true? How was it possible?

  “Come on, Loki. I’ve traveled with you enough. Don’t you think I’d realize pretty quickly you weren’t normal? Don’t you think an ordinary human would be freaked by the things you do?” Jason asks.

  I’m gawking at the hand he still has extended toward me as if I’m going to shake it and we’ll be BFF’s. As if I want to be best friends forever with any human. Forever is a long time. I know. I’ve lived through much of it.

  Though, apparently, so has he. Or as close as a mortal could come to forever in humanity’s timeline.

  “Let me help,” Jason says as he presses the button to open the window. He sticks his hand out. “West winds work my will.”

  I’m still glaring at him. I’m riding with a lunatic.

  “Go, Loki, go,” Jason says, shooting a look at the light.

  I glance at it. It’s still red and traffic is not moving.

  “For god’s sake, change it already.”

  I wiggle my fingers. It’s almost involuntary. The light changes and stays green.

  “It was time for it to change,” I state, disbelieving that he had anything to do with it at all.

  “Whatever, Loki,” Jason says, leaning back in the seat. “You won’t have any more issues all the way to the airport. Which, by the way, every light along the way was teeming with light gnomes. I just took care of them all for you. No need to thank me. They love stopping people who are already late getting there. With your in-a-hurry aura, that’s why they stopped you.”

  I decide to pretend the last few moments hadn’t happened. It’s easier to just step on the gas and drive.

  Jason reaches over for the stereo and clicks it on. Two Steps from Hell comes on the radio playing Blackheart, my song. Not only does it show that Jason hasn’t overlooked the detail of setting up my radio for me, but it’s as if the universe knew I needed a little pick me up, something to put me in the mood. Oh, yeah, the trickster is on his way.

  “You don’t believe I’m actually Jason of the Argonauts, do you?”

  Damn him and the ship he sailed in on for pulling me out of my thoughts. “You can be Little Bo Peep for all I care.”

  “Ooh, witty Loki.” He holds his hands up as if shaking in fear to mock me. “You never suspected, did you?”

  Frankly, I’d always thought he was one of Odin’s Cursed, someone who turns a blind eye to my actions no matter what shenanigans I’m up to. Well, he was Cursed, just not one of Odin’s. “I could let you out right here, right now, in the middle of the road if you like.”

  “Like you’ll fire me again?”

  “You’re getting on my nerves.”

  “I know,” Jason smiled. “It’s brilliant. I’ve imagined this moment a thousand times over, but I never knew I’d be getting the best of you.”

  I really do think about putting him out into the middle of the road as if my car never existed. A simple manipulation of molecules and he’d fall right through. Unfortunately his body would probably do more harm to the tiny Honda behind me than it would do to him.

  “So what do you want?” I ask. “Money? Fame? A shot on some reality television show?”

  “I just want to be Loki’s personal assistant. Best job in the world.”

  “Because getting fired once a week is so charming,” I return.

  “I didn’t say it doesn’t have its ups and downs.”

  He’s quick. He does remind me of Thor. Except I could punch Thor without hurting him; in fact I’d probably be the one getting hurt. Jason is breakable.

  So how the heck has a breakable human lived for so long?

  I’m pulling into the parking garage now. I stop at the lowered gate for my ticket. With a push of the button, the machine feeds me my tag, which I put on the dashboard. The gate raises and I’m on my way again. The engine surges as the Aventador climbs up the ramps to the floor second to the top. My Phantom always climbed hills like a homesick angel. The Aventador seems more like a flatlander, needing wide open spaces to get her power.

  “Jim says he’s on it,” Jason says as if reading my thoughts. “I’ll call him in the morning and making sure he’s truly got a move on.”

  “Good.” My reply is almost automatic. I’ve taken to being the boss and expecting the worker minion to be on his task. One hundred percent delegation.

  “That means I’m rehired, right?”

  I roll my eyes, not believing I’d let myself be caught in that trap. I start wondering if I’m going to put up little sticky note reminders all over my house, once I have one again, that say, “Gods are smarter than humans.” Maybe a bumper sticker too.

  Jason draws one knee up as he makes a fist with his opposite hand and pulls it in toward his body. “Yes, score for Jason! That makes nine.”

  “Rapidly speeding toward your ninth firing too,” I say.

  The day seems to have lost its brightness in the gray shadows of the cement parking garage. I keep going until I’m on the level next to the top and pull into a spot near the outer wall. Jason scrambles out of the car as I do. I toss the keys to him as I walk to the front of the car. “Why don’t you stay here?”

  “What?” Jason says, catching the keys. “Wait. No.”

  “Too late.” With that, I jump over the protective metal railing.

  Chapter 3

  By the time I land on the ground, I’m wearing my black cloak with the faded runes running down it. I look up at Jason staring over the
railing from four floors up. I wave. “Better luck next time, kid,” I whisper. At least now I don’t have to lose him going through security.

  I start walking across the roadway between the garage and the airport entrance. Fortunately, most of the day’s traffic has already gone through, so this street is nearly empty. The car currently coming around the turn slows down as the driver sees me.

  As I reach the sidewalk and the car continues on, I hear an inexplicable creak behind me. The sound makes me turn. Jason is on the outside of the parking garage wall and is scaling down a rusty brown drainpipe.

  Really!

  He’s got something wrapped around the back of the pipe and he’s holding onto it tightly. I realize it’s his tie. His knees and feet are latched to the pipe so that he moves like a caterpillar scrunching and straightening as he lowers himself down. Before I can say ‘Rainbow Bridge’ he’s on the ground.

  “Just like coming down the mast,” he says as he brushes the rust off his slacks. “I can climb much faster. I was really hoping you’d take the basement garage.”

  The sliding door at the airport entrance opens before me. I enter with Jason at my side. I’m still not sure if I’m impressed by his ingenuity or irritated by it.

  Losing him in security it is.

  We pass the luggage check-in and head right for the security checkpoint. I scan the flight display board for what airline I’m looking for and Bronwyn lights it up for me to see. Beautiful.

  I suddenly realize that Jason’s not with me and turn to look for him. I really was looking forward to that moment when he had to take off his shoes, belt, and everything else metal on him and put in the little tub to go down the conveyor belt while I just walked through. Now I find him missing. Where is the fun in that?

  Oh well, maybe this is better.

  There is a wall of security glass with an open section beyond just before the poles and ropes herd people into half a dozen queues. The short red carpet squishes under my feet.